Hello!
Since I've been puffing pot, I've had instances where my high self is overwhelmed with curiosity. When you're high, your thoughts seem very insightful and deep, even though they rarely are insightful and deep. You wonder about things in the world and your brain makes some connections that feel new and intriguing!
One of these instances had an unexpected impact on me. The first instance of this new hobby came in the Summer of 2019. My partner, SO, and I were trying out a trial run at living together. He had a Summer lease in his school-owned apartment and I had my apartment near my university, but worked in the town he was located so I stayed with him. We had been dating an hour away for the majority of our relationship and were, for a lack of a better term, testing our relationship and compatibility. We decided to use the Summer as a trial run for living together. With both of us taking Summer classes and working, our Summer was pretty busy, but we made time to relax and smoke some of that good kush.
I can't remember the strain we were smoking at the time and neither does SO, but it was good shit. One night, SO had to head to bed early since he was scheduled to work early the next morning, so I was up to my own devices for a solid few hours, or so I thought would be a few hours. After a major hit and a half, and some chill music, my mind was exploring the questions of the universe.
As a child, I was interested in space, as I imagine little kids usually are, but without going on too much of a tangent, I was discouraged from pursing physical sciences when I was in middle school. At the time, I internalized that discouragement as my teachers not having confidence in my abilities, and although that may be the case, looking back, there was some sexism to their perception of my interest in science, since I frequently received high marks in my classes.
Anyway, my brain was exploring and awakening my scientific intrigue. I was contemplating how the universe is made, I learned in school that it's because of atoms and subatomic particles, but was there anything else? Why do I exist in this form, while other lifeforms exist in different forms, why are there so many distinctions? I know that just sounds like evolution, but my mind wasn't thinking in terms of evolution. So what do you do when you have an existential question and your partner is fast asleep? The internet.
I started my journey learning about physics, specifically quantum physics, which, in my opinion, is the coolest branch of physics. I stayed up until maybe 2:30am watching YouTube videos, reading articles, watching docu-series. My mind was consumed with learning about the make-up of the universe! I learned that there are building blocks to the universe and all visible matter is made up of elemental particles. The collection of these blocks if called the "Standard Model," colloquially known as the "Particle Zoo."
Our world is made up of Elementary Fermions and Elementary Bosons. I'm not going to explain what those mean, but basically and maybe highly incorrectly, we are made up of blocks and glue. Not surprising when I type it, but something else resulted from this newfound interest, a deeper connection with God.
Okay, okay, I don't want to shove anything in anyone's virtual face, but this has been a huge part of my cannabis chronicles!
As per my introductory post, I practice and am involved in the Christian faith, specifically the ELCA Lutheran sector. For those who are unfamiliar with this sector, in a very rudimentary sense, we're the sector that supports the guys, girls, gays, and theys, and nonbinary babes. We love our coffee and beer, and we sit in the back.
Through my faith, I've gone through periods in my life of doubt and not feeling like I had a meaningful or deep relationship with God, which made me nervous and disappointed. When I got to college, I explored my faith more seriously since my family had a unique relationship with the Church. Through my exploring my faith, I developed the idea that science is supposed to explain religion; they're supposed to work together to understand our surroundings and find answers to how God created this world.
This post doesn't purport to convert anyone, just to tell a story about how marijuana brought me closer to God.
While learning all about how the universe was created, and what I knew already about evolution and other sciences, learning about quantum physics almost solidified my faith and especially my faith in God. Somehow learning about what the universe is made up of and knowing how small our existence is, compared to the entirety of the potential multiverse clicked with my idea and belief in God.
I felt so much more connected with God, like He let me in on his process and how intricate His process is. I learned that the God that I know loves progress and growth, starting with the smallest materials and watching it grow to the vast universe we know today. I think the same goes for us humans. We are growing and changing constantly, what we think is central to our identities may not be central the next day, or they may be the foundational qualities that God has given us. Either way, I think the premise of life has to be growth at this point and I think that's enough.
No matter what you believe, or don't believe, the bottom line is that smoking weed actually helped me in my own spiritual journey and helped me find something I really enjoy learning about. It makes me think in different ways, not always productive or even understandable, but it's the experience, it's the growth.
So sit back with some bud and let your mind do its thing.
-IWWSS
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